Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: The Glory Hotel & Residence, Clark Pampanga!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the glittery, possibly slightly-over-the-top world of Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: The Glory Hotel & Residence, Clark Pampanga! Prepare yourselves, because this isn't your average hotel review. This is more like… well, think of it as me, after three espressos and a week of trying to decipher the latest TikTok trends, spilling the tea on a hotel experience.
Let's be honest, the name alone – "The Glory Hotel & Residence" – sets a certain expectation, doesn't it? Glory! Sounds ambitious. Sounds… potentially disastrously gaudy. But hey, I'm game.
First Impressions & Accessibility (or, the Great Elevator Adventure)
So, getting there was… a journey. Let's just say my GPS had a bad day. But finally, I arrived. And the first thing I noticed? The sheer scale of the place. It's… big. Really big. And that brings us to the first test: accessibility.
Accessibility: Okay, so, the elevator situation? Good. Multiple elevators. Crucial. Wheelchair accessible? Absolutely, ramps and all. Score one for the Glory! The facilities for disabled guests seemed thoughtfully considered, which is a huge plus. I didn't personally need them, but I saw them, and that speaks volumes. Now, the corridors… some of them were a little long, which for someone with mobility issues might be a consideration.
Getting Around: Airport transfer was a lifesaver. Let me repeat that: LIFESAVER. After that drive, I was not in the mood for public transport. Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site] are also wins. Valet parking is available, which, let's be real, is just pure indulgence.
Rooms & Amenities (or, My Love Affair with the Blackout Curtains)
My room? Oh, my room. Let's just say it was… well, it was a room. A nice room.
- Available in all rooms: The essentials were there: Air conditioning, check. Air conditioning in public area, check. Free Wi-Fi, check. Wi-Fi [free] in the room? Praise be! Seriously, I NEED Wi-Fi. My lifeblood.
- Rooms and Comfort: The blackout curtains? GOLD. Absolute, unadulterated gold. I could have slept through a nuclear winter in those things. Extra long bed? Yes, please! Alarm clock, desk, in-room safe box, mini bar, refrigerator, coffee/tea maker – all the usual suspects. I loved the complimentary tea!
- Bathroom Bliss: The bathtub and separate shower/bathtub were nice. Bathrobes and slippers? Essential for peak hotel lounging.
- Other Details: Linens, towels, hair dryer, toiletries – all present and accounted for. There was a mirror, thank goodness, because, you know, gotta check the hair situation. The window that opens was a nice touch, though I didn't dare open it because I was nestled in my blackout curtain cocoon.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (or, My Carb-Loading Adventure)
Okay, food. This is where things got interesting.
- Restaurants: The restaurants were… plentiful. Restaurants, coffee shop, poolside bar etc.
- Dining Options: Breakfast [buffet] was, well, a buffet. A decent one. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast – options aplenty. A la carte in restaurant? Sure. Room service [24-hour]? Yes, please! Especially after a long day of… well, doing nothing.
- Food Quality: The Asian cuisine in restaurant was pretty good, I have to say. I'm a sucker for noodles. Happy hour? Naturally, I partook. And the desserts in restaurant? Oh, the desserts. Let's just say my willpower vanished faster than a politician's promise.
- Other Considerations: Bottle of water was, thankfully, provided. Coffee/tea in restaurant, salad in restaurant, soup in restaurant – all the usual suspects. Alternative meal arrangement was available. Vegetarian restaurant was a nice touch.
- The Imperfection: The Snack bar, I found, was a bit of a letdown. My expectations were too high.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (or, The Great Sauna Debacle)
This is where the "Glory" really tries to shine. And, honestly, it mostly succeeds.
- Relaxation Central: The spa was… well, it was a spa. You know, the usual: massage, sauna, steamroom, body scrub, body wrap, foot bath. I tried it all. And I will say, the massage was heavenly. Seriously, I felt like a limp noodle afterwards.
- Poolside Perfection: The swimming pool [outdoor] was beautiful. The pool with view was even better. The poolside bar was strategically placed for maximum relaxation.
- Fitness Fanatics: The Fitness center and Gym/fitness are available, but I didn't venture in, because, let's be honest, I was mostly focused on the buffet.
- The Debacle: So, the sauna. I love a good sauna. But this one… well, let's just say I may or may not have accidentally set off the fire alarm with my overly enthusiastic use of eucalyptus oil. The staff were very understanding, though.
Cleanliness and Safety (or, The Sanitization Symphony)
In these times, this is paramount. And the Glory actually did a pretty good job.
- Safety Measures: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer everywhere, Staff trained in safety protocol, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter – all present and accounted for.
- Health Precautions: Doctor/nurse on call and a First aid kit were reassuring. Individually-wrapped food options were a nice touch. Safe dining setup was also evident.
- Other Details: Sterilizing equipment was apparently in use. Room sanitization opt-out available was a nice touch.
Services and Conveniences (or, The Art of Being Pampered)
They try to cover all the bases.
- Convenience is Key: Concierge, Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Daily housekeeping, Luggage storage, Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange – all the usual suspects.
- For the Business Travelers: Business facilities, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Xerox/fax in business center, Projector/LED display, Audio-visual equipment for special events – they've got you covered.
- Other Niceties: Babysitting service for the kids. Car park [free of charge]. Gift/souvenir shop (tempting!). Smoking area is available. Elevator is present.
- The Imperfection: The Convenience store was a bit sparse.
For the Kids (or, The Little Emperors and Empresses)
- Family Friendly: Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal, Babysitting service
Security, Safety, and Other Details (or, The Vigilance Vanguard)
- Keeping You Safe: CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Non-smoking rooms, Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, Security [24-hour].
- Other Details: Pets allowed unavailable (bummer for pet owners).
Internet Access (or, The Wi-Fi Wars)
- Internet Access: Internet access – wireless, Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms, Internet access – LAN, Wi-Fi for special events.
Overall Impression & Recommendation (or, The Verdict)
Look, The Glory Hotel & Residence is not perfect. It's a bit… much. A little over the top. But you know what? It's also kind of fabulous. It's comfortable. It's convenient. The staff are friendly and helpful. And the blackout curtains? Still dreaming about them.
Would I recommend it? Yes. Especially if you're looking for a little bit of over-the-top luxury, a place to relax, and don't mind a bit of… well, glory.
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is my Glory Hotel & Residence Clark Pampanga adventure, and it’s gonna be a glorious, messy, and probably slightly embarrassing ride. Let's get this show on the road… or, you know, the plane.
The Glory Hotel & Residence Clark Pampanga: A Love Story (Maybe?) - A Messy Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Room Debacle (aka "Why Did I Pack So Much?")
08:00 AM (ish): Landed in Clark. Sun's already trying to fry my eyeballs. Manila traffic had me questioning every life choice, including the decision to wear skinny jeans on a flight. Airport smells like a weird mix of jet fuel and… something floral? Okay, Philippines, I see you.
09:00 AM (ish): Taxi to the Glory Hotel. The driver, bless his heart, kept trying to make small talk in Tagalog, which basically meant I smiled, nodded, and tried not to drool on myself from the jet lag. He did point out a random rooster strutting across the road, which was, honestly, the highlight of the ride.
10:00 AM (OMG, Finally!): Check-in. The lobby is… sparkly. Like, Vegas-level sparkly. I'm pretty sure I saw a chandelier wink at me. The staff are lovely though, super friendly and helpful, which is a huge relief after the travel chaos.
10:30 AM - 12:00 PM: The Room Reveal & The Packing Trauma. Okay, so the room is… nice. Clean, spacious, good air conditioning. But the real drama? Unpacking. Seriously, why do I pack like I'm preparing for a polar expedition? Mountains of clothes, enough toiletries to supply a small pharmacy, and a book I swear I'll read. The struggle is real, people. Real. I spent a solid hour just staring at the mess, feeling a wave of existential dread wash over me. Am I really this disorganized?
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch at the hotel restaurant. Ordered something vaguely described as "Filipino noodles." It was… a culinary adventure. Let's just say it was an experience. The mango shake, however, was pure, unadulterated sunshine in a glass. Worth every single sip.
1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Poolside Sloth Mode Activated. The pool area is gorgeous. Lush greenery, comfy loungers, and a general vibe of relaxation. I spent the afternoon basically melting into a puddle of sunscreen and existential contemplation. Read about three chapters of my book, which, I'll admit, was quite relaxing.
4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Exploring (and getting lost). I decided to be adventurous and wander around the hotel grounds. I somehow managed to get myself completely turned around and ended up staring at a bunch of storage containers. Victory! Decided I wasn't cut out for solo exploration, and headed back to the safe haven of the hotel.
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner. Back at the restaurant. This time, I played it safe and ordered chicken. It was… chicken. Perfectly edible chicken. The mango shake, of course, saved the day again.
8:00 PM - Bedtime: Attempt to watch a movie. Gave up after 15 minutes because I was too exhausted to understand the plot. Fell asleep dreaming of mango shakes and the sweet, sweet relief of being horizontal.
Day 2: Adventure (aka "I Tried to Be Cultured")
09:00 AM: Breakfast. The buffet is… extensive. I may or may not have tried everything. The pastries were dangerous.
10:00 AM - 1:00 PM: The Clark Museum & 4D Cinema. I decided to hit up the Clark Museum for a dose of history. The exhibits were interesting, but my attention span is that of a goldfish. The 4D cinema was a bit of a letdown, to be honest. The "effects" were… underwhelming. I spent most of the time trying to figure out if my seat was actually vibrating or if it was just the after-effects of the buffet.
1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Lunch. I'm sensing a pattern here. Back at the hotel restaurant. This time, I ordered something I thought was a sandwich. It wasn't. It was something else entirely. I'm still not sure what it was, but it was… interesting. The mango shake, though… you get it.
2:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Shopping Spree (and Regret). I was feeling adventurous and decided to hit up a local mall. Let's just say I'm a sucker for a good sale. I ended up buying a bunch of stuff I probably don't need. But hey, retail therapy, right? My bank account is currently weeping.
5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Back to the hotel pool. Needed to recover from the shopping trauma.
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner. Back at the restaurant. Seriously considering just moving in at this point. The staff are starting to recognize me. I think they're also judging my mango shake consumption. I don't care.
8:00 PM - Bedtime: Attempt to write a journal. Gave up after two sentences. Fell asleep dreaming of mango shakes and the sweet, sweet relief of being horizontal.
Day 3: Departure & The Mango Shake Farewell (aka "I'm Never Leaving")
- 09:00 AM: Breakfast. The buffet is… still extensive. I went for the pastries this time. No regrets.
- 10:00 AM: Last swim in the pool. Tried to savor every moment.
- 11:00 AM: Check-out. Said goodbye to the lovely staff (who, I suspect, are secretly relieved to see me go).
- 11:30 AM: The Great Mango Shake Farewell. One last, glorious mango shake. I may have shed a tear. It was a perfect moment.
- 12:00 PM: Taxi to the airport.
- 1:00 PM: Boarding. Goodbye, Philippines!
Final Thoughts:
The Glory Hotel & Residence Clark Pampanga was… an experience. It's not perfect, but it's got charm, friendly staff, and an abundance of mango shakes. Would I go back? Absolutely. Just need to work on my packing skills, my sense of direction, and, you know, my ability to actually understand what I'm eating. And maybe bring an extra suitcase just for the mango shakes.
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Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: The Glory Hotel & Residence - FAQs (Because Seriously, I Need Answers!)
Okay, seriously, is The Glory *actually* as glamorous as the pictures? My Instagram feed is practically screaming about it.
Alright, let's be real. The pictures? They're *stunning*. Like, airbrushed perfection. And the Glory? Well... it's pretty darn close. Think marble floors you could practically ice skate on, chandeliers that could probably buy a small island nation, and staff who treat you like you're royalty (even if you're just wearing yesterday's t-shirt, like me). BUT, and this is a big but... there's the *slight* issue of… perspectives.
I was there last month, and I swear, the first time I walked into the lobby, my jaw hit the floor. I actually tripped over a decorative ottoman. Smooth. But then, later, I was stuck in the elevator for like, ten minutes. The air conditioning, thankfully, worked so I didn't overheat, but it brought me back down to earth. Luxury with a side of mild claustrophobia, I guess? Still, the pool *is* amazing. Just sayin'.
What's the deal with the rooms? Are they actually worth the price tag?
Look, the price tag is... significant. Let's not beat around the bush. But, the rooms? They're pretty spectacular. I stayed in a suite that was bigger than my actual apartment. It had a walk-in closet (which, let's be honest, I filled mostly with snacks), a jacuzzi, and a view that made me want to spontaneously break into song (which, thankfully, I didn't, for the sake of my fellow guests).
Here's the thing. You're paying for the experience. You're paying for that feeling of, "Wow, I actually *deserve* this!" (Even if you don't, shhh, don't tell anyone). Are the rooms "worth" the price in a purely financial sense? Maybe not. But the sheer decadence? The comfort? The feeling of being utterly pampered? Yeah, that's a pretty strong argument. And the bed? Oh my god, the bed. I legitimately wanted to take it home with me. I could have stayed in that bed for a week, ordering room service and watching terrible reality TV. And I almost did.
What kind of dining options are there? I'm a foodie, and I'm easily swayed by good food!
Foodie, huh? You've come to the right place, my friend. The Glory has a selection of restaurants that will make your taste buds sing. There's everything from fancy-pants fine dining (where I, admittedly, felt a little underdressed, despite my best efforts) to more casual options.
Let me tell you about the steak at [Restaurant Name Redacted, to avoid a lawsuit]. It was, hands down, the best steak I've ever had. Seriously. I almost cried. I actually *did* cry a little, because it was so good, and also because I knew I'd never be able to afford it again. But the experience? Worth it. The service was impeccable, the wine list was extensive (and expensive!), and the ambiance was pure elegance. Just... be prepared to loosen your belt a notch or two. Or three.
And, the breakfast buffet! Oh, the breakfast buffet. It's a glorious, glorious thing. Pancakes, pastries, fresh fruit, omelets made to order... you name it, they have it. I may or may not have eaten my weight in croissants. Don't judge me.
What about the activities? Is there anything to *do* besides lounge by the pool (which, admittedly, sounds amazing)?
Okay, so, yes, the pool is amazing. And yes, I spent a significant amount of time lounging by it, pretending to be a glamorous movie star. But, if you're the type who gets bored easily (like me), there's plenty to keep you occupied.
There's a spa, of course. Massages, facials, the whole shebang. I treated myself to a massage, and it was divine. I think I fell asleep. Don't judge me twice. Then there's the gym, which I *intended* to use. I even packed workout clothes. But... the bed was just so comfortable. And the pool was so inviting. And the breakfast buffet... well, you get the idea.
They also offer tours and excursions. I didn't go on any, because, you know, bed. But they looked pretty interesting. And Clark itself has a lot to offer in terms of attractions. So, yeah, you could totally be productive. Or you could just embrace the luxury and do absolutely nothing. I recommend the latter.
What's the staff like? Are they as friendly as they seem in the reviews?
Alright, the staff. This is where The Glory truly shines. They are, without a doubt, some of the friendliest and most helpful people I've ever encountered. They're all about anticipating your needs, before you even know you have them.
Seriously, I lost my phone (don't ask) and they practically moved heaven and earth to find it. They were so patient and understanding, even though I was probably a hysterical mess. And the bellhops? They're like, walking encyclopedias of information. They know everything about the hotel and the surrounding area.
One small thing that I found a little… odd, though, was the sheer *number* of staff. You can't walk five feet without bumping into someone who's ready to help. It's a little overwhelming at first, but you get used to it. And hey, if you need anything, you're covered. They even offered to polish my shoes! Like, who does that anymore?! It's all part of the experience, I guess.
Is there anything I should be aware of before I go? Any hidden costs or things I should know?
Okay, let's talk practicality. First, the price tag. It's luxury. Prepare for luxury prices. Cocktails by the pool? Expensive. A late-night snack from room service? Expensive. The mini-bar? You guessed it, expensive.
Also, watch out for those "optional" add-ons. The spa treatments, the extra activities, the special dining experiences… they can add up *fast*. I ended up spending way more than I anticipated, but hey, it was worth it, right? Right? (My bank account is still recovering).
Parking can also be a bit of a challenge, especially during peak season. So, consider using a ride-sharing service orTop Places To Stay
